Dear Church, A Letter of Patience
A Personal Reflection and Challenge
Dear Church,
How is your patience level amongst believers?
Lately, I feel like people’s patience (including Christians) is so thin. It is easier to express our discontentment with others. It is easier to comment, criticize, and vocalize our outrage at something someone posted. We can argue with a complete stranger in the comments because I’m right, you’re wrong. There are literally rage-baiting posts that function to make others angry and lose patience.
Or, how is your patience on the morning commute, the long line at the grocery store or clothing store, or the long drive-thru line?
It is easy to lose patience when things don’t go our way or people don’t understand our perspective.
Christians can lose patience with each other. It’s happened to me before. I have lost patience with other believers. I have talked out of turn because I thought I was right when God did not ask me to speak. I’m a reformed know-it-all…I’m still working on it.
As mentioned on Monday, patience is not being passive but actively, spiritually regulating our emotions. It is human to feel hard emotions, but do we always have to act on them to one another? God is asking us to have some self-restraint towards our brothers and sisters in Christ (easier said than done). God is asking us to pause before reaction.
Consider these steps: Situation happens with believer.
First, Pause.
Second, Assess the situation. Does the situation call for verbal rebuke immediately (like are you or someone else in physical danger? Is it truly a matter of life and death?)
Third, Assess how your mind, body, and spirit feel emotionally. Are you angry, upset, disappointed, hurt?
Christians, it’s important to notice how you are feeling but also seek the Holy Spirit in your emotions. Ask the Holy Spirit to regulate you. Stop and process. If you can leave the situation, do that. It is good to step away rather than escalate those triggering emotions on another believer.
I understand that trauma can affect our responses. I do not want to discount that aspect. Our mind can be conditioned to act on triggers. But, the Holy Spirit is active and present and it will prompt you try something different. Seek the Holy Spirit but also seek mature believers, a pastor, or a therapist. There’s no shame in that.
Not every issue requires a response. Our ego can be our biggest downfall because we forget Jesus for our own selfish desires.
REAL TALK: God may not be calling you to immediately correct a fellow believer. God may not be calling to use the words you personally want to use. God may not be calling to speak but be still. God may call someone else to step in and address a situation.
God is asking you to hold on, wait, and trust Him to handle the issue. This does not mean don’t speak at all to injustice or corruption. Sometimes it is important to speak out. What I mean is: Are you speaking correction or rebuke to another believer to satisfy your own ego or were you prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak to a situation?
God is saying, “Don’t knuck if you buck.” God is telling us to wait on His call. God is saying to regulate under the Holy Spirit who is there to guide us. God is calling us to trust in His way in situations beyond our control. We cannot self-generate patience because we are complex, unpredictable, sinful people. You don’t what and how the situation will end. That is why we need a Savior to teach and guide us about true patience towards our brothers and sisters in Christ because He is patient with us.
Blissfully,
Bianca